My Turn

Mom has finally decided to let me post on the blog. Yeah, that’s right, she is “letting me” write on MY blog. It is called Frappelou not Nettiepooh. I don’t know why she gets to make all the decisions anyway. Just because she pays all the bills doesn’t make her the boss of me. Pluuueeez. Besides she is not very good at keeping it updated. I also think she felt guilty because my cousin Callahan, who is a French Bull Dog, has her own blog that she writes herself. And if a dog can blog a horse can blog cuz everyone knows horses are way smarter than dogs. OK, she does have a slight advantage because paws are definitely easier to type with then hoofs but that is where my good friend Alfonso comes in. He has agreed do the typing for me in exchange for daily back massages. Can you say GENIUS? Alfonso is one of the barn cats that live here. He just showed up one day and decided to stay. He is a Kool Kat. I don’t mean that in the 70’s way cuz I wasn’t born until the 90’s.





Life is pretty good here at Janet’s place but I do have a few complaints. First of all room service delivers three squares a day plus an evening snack and that is OK by me although four or five would be better. But I have noticed that portion sizes have gotten smaller recently. I am not sure if this is because of budget cuts or what but not everyone’s portions have decreased. In fact, my neighbor Duchess seems to be getting more food. And I did hear Anne tell mom that I am getting a little chubby and that she had better cut back my feed to only a couple of handfuls a day. That really teed me off but that’s OK cuz I got Anne back. On Friday when we went for one of our twice daily walks, I decided to teach her a lesson. I waited until we were as far out on the back twenty acres as possible. I was walking along all nice like and then wham out of no where I just went crazy. I leaped in the air, reared, bucked. I did my best impression of a rodeo horse. But Anne is way stronger than she looks. Have you ever seen her? She must weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet. But she dug her heels in and hung on to that leash. I think if she didn’t have that chain on me I would have gotten away for sure. I got in trouble for it but I didn’t care. Nothing bad happens when I get in trouble. They just yell and some times I get smacked but it doesn’t hurt. Mom sometimes threatens to take my food away but she doesn’t. One time she actually went so far as to drive off without giving me my feed but five minutes later she was back. I have her wrapped around my hoof. LOL.

The apartments here are pretty nice. There are 8 units in this building. Housekeeping comes twice a day to clean up after me. Mom says she wishes she had someone come twice a day to cleanup after her. I hear she needs it too. I haven’t actually seen her place but rumor has it she is not the tidiest person. I am glad she hires someone to clean my place. The staff here is usually pretty good about letting me take my naps uninterrupted. It would be nice if management would install high speed internet in our complex though. That would make posting to my blog quicker. I like all my neighbors. Tyler finally got to move in my building last winter. He was staying at the same place but he lived in another building and his place wasn’t as nice. He lives two doors down now so we get to see each other all the time.

Complaint number two is about turnout. For some reason I am forbidden to go out into the lush, green, delicious pasture now. Apparently some vets have told mom and Anne that I can’t go out and they are listening to them. And guess what? Tyler can’t go out either. I think it is some sort of conspiracy. They said that it’s because we are both injured. First of all we both feel absolutely fine. Well, fine enough to go out to pasture (but not back to work). Secondly, how can going out to eat grass in a pasture be bad for you and what does it have to do with being injured? I am totally on board with not being ridden. That part makes perfect sense. Horses aren’t built to be ridden in the first place. But not grazing? Hello – that is what we were put on earth for. God made us to graze the plains. That is what we do. I don’t know who these vets are and what makes them think they are so smart and have all the answers but I don’t like them at all. I wish they would just listen to Uncle Kenny who says we should just be turned out in the pasture 24/7. Now he is a smart guy.

I noticed mom is driving a new red car. I hope she didn’t get rid of our gray truck b/c I don’t think that little red thing will haul my limo and it doesn’t match it anyway. Not that I care about that stuff but Tyler mentioned it didn’t match. I really don’t care how she spends our money as long as she doesn’t buy me any more clothes. I hate wearing clothes. I noticed on Saturday mom took away all of Tyler’s and my blankets. I hope I never see them again. Good riddance. I try very hard to destroy at least one or two blankets a season. If God wanted horses to wear clothes we would have been born with them on like humans. Of course the only thing mom should be spending, is more time letting me eat grass.

Gotta sign off for now. Alfonso says he is getting tired and needs to take a nap.